I know most of you gathered in this space today, but for those that don’t know who I am, my name is Dr. Bryan Ripley Crandall and I work at Fairfield University where William and Jessica met. Colleagues, knowing I was ordained for such weddings, have nicknamed me Reverend Cran-diggity, and I’m perfectly okay with that. There’s a frog-like rhythm to such a title.
In my version of the William and Jessica story, I became the cupid that had the arrows that pierced through them both in 2015 when I asked them to be co-facilitators of Ubuntu Academy, our literacy program for immigrant and refugee-background youth. William had already taken my graduate course for teaching writing, and Jessica did a year later. I knew them separately, as individuals, but something in the back of my mind triggered the song, “Thinks that make you go, hmmmmm.”
Yes, I always had an ulterior motive for introducing them to one another one day, but the opportunity didn’t arise until one day in room 106 of Canisius Hall.. I was proud of my slick, mischievous plan…but little did I know that they had already discovered one another during a grammar class and were casually and secretively dating over direct objects, declaratives, conjunctions, and adverbs. They hoped the the professors would not find out, which they achieved because as I introduced them to one another one hot summer day, they actually shook hands as if it was the very first time they met. Tricksters. We should add thespians and performers to their resumes and awards. Ah….but by the end of our first summer of working together, most of the kids and definitely Abu, Lossine and me, sensed something was up. I think it was the way they danced the bachata from the drumbeats of the kids. The spark was easy to detect.
It is crazy to think it was almost a decade ago, and many of us in this space might ask, “What took them so long?” Now, I have my own speculations. William’s head wound that required a gigantic band aid across his forehead, and all the coquettish teasing from Jessica, which made William work REALLY REALLY hard to earn Jessica’s trust. She doesn’t like sea food, after all. Wink Wink. Yes, both Jessica and William are headstrong. They’re intellectual, actually, and travel the world cautiously…. It took them a minute or two to completely commit to the idea of being a super couple. It took several minutes, actually…years. If I were a math professor I might be able to share just how many minutes, but I’m more a man of words. There was that Covid thing, too, that squashed their wedding vacation planned for 2020.
For these reasons, I think it is important to take a moment to reflect on the strength it took all of us to move forward to this date…and to think of those who, unfortunately, are unable to be here to celebrate the joining of both Jessica and William, today. May they rest in peace.
This is also why I’m saying to Jessica and William right now……if either of you get cold feet today, every one of us at this gathering are going to thaw them in a barbecue pit. There are way too many of us sharing this space right now that have been waiting for this day for a very long time. And for those who wonder, “What took them so long,” all three of us have bonded over the fact that we tend to put the needs of others, including our students, before our own needs. The young people William and Jessica teach have habitually been prioritized, slowing down the pace of their commitment to one another. I can only imagine the size of this wedding if they invited each and every young person they’ve inspired, including Julian. With this noted, I’m thrilled to see that, at least for today, both of you are putting yourselves first…together, with one another…as a couple united dedicated to vision, faith, and human togetherness.
I am, because we are. Ubuntu – shared humanity that makes all of this possible, the philosophy at the core of the work they do, their livelihoods, their careers, and their personal ways of living. Around my neck is a scarf I purchased online, partly because I wanted to show my fashion sense to both Jessica and William (who outdo me on every occasion, even today), but mostly because I found this liturgical stole of adjoined circles and hearts, and realized it is a symbolic pattern of all the individuals that are meant to be adored, admired, loved, and appreciated through interconnectivity. Jessica and William, you enjoin all of our circles with tiny hearts….the love you demonstrate before us.
Today, and with this ceremony, we embrace the numerous ways in which languages, cultures, and relationships demonstrate the world’s complex simplicity, and simple complexity. William, at brunch the other day you named how much you love Jessica for the ways she keeps her ears to the ground, always listening to the intricacies of words, and how she is always careful before she speaks and acts. Jessica, as William gorged himself on French toast, you were quick to name that you were attracted to William’s still qualities, the way he thinks deeply about the power of words and their effects, and that his interest in humanity, a larger faith, spoke to your heart and personal interests.
Words matter. They bring us our humanity.
Today, I have the joyous honor of bringing the Baldizons together with the Kings. I’m sure Guillermo (Geer-mo), Tamara, and Candace might add, “Well there are several Queens, too.” All of us present have been waiting for this moment for a very long time. Their Human Togetherness… Jessica and William…the Ubuntu, the belief of community and the power of familial strength.
It is a ceremony that is part of a long tradition, not only to officiate the fusion of both Jessica and William’s worlds, but to bring forward the legality of joining lives as one. Another circle, like the letter “O,” and if you add such an O to God, you have good, and that is what today is all about. The good that comes from seeing William and Jessica eye to eye, family to family, and ready to embrace all life has in store for them together.
There’s tremendous good in this ceremony on August 17, 2024, and with family and friends still to come….the beautiful ways Juany (Whay-knee) and Jairo (High Ro) have landscaped their yard for all of us to enjoy, broken ribs and all and, perhaps, the way a couple of chickens will lay eggs as we run this ritual at their home. It might be appropriate to sing, “Look around, look around…how lucky we are to be alive right now.” It was, after all, where the proposal occurred during a Hamilton performance in NYC. Jessica agreed with William, that everything felt right… “We’re so lucky to be alive right now.” Neither of them willing (or Jessica-ing) to throw their shots away.
Migueles (ma-gal-iss), Guillermo (Geermo), Tamara, Candace, Benjamin, Zoila Abualita, and Jamie, the two of them did say yes together and, as a result, the families grow bigger and stronger together before our eyes. They encircle one another, become a stronger network, and unite as groom and a bride before the ones they love most.
William and Jessica, you remarked there wasn’t anything, in particular, you wanted recited, so I did the Crandall think and worked through my library to find words I felt worthy of this consecration.
Plato wrote, Love is born into every human being: it calls back the halves of our original nature together; it tries to make one out of two and heal the wound of human nature.
In Corinthians, it is written Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
From the Zohar, the words read, A husband and wife are one soul, separated only through their descent of this world. When they are married, they have reunited again.
The Q’uran also notes, And we’ve created you in pairs.
Ah, but our friend Kwame Alexander says, All that is good and accomplished in this world takes work and a little chaos.
And our girl Luma Mufleh notes, too, Our stories have the power to change hearts and minds.
Today is your story…one for the two of you that you are sharing with others to change our hearts and minds. As we stand here right now, you are weaving a tale, this one time, this moment in space where the love between you both come together. It is a gift given to both families, your friends, and me.
William and Jessica have chosen to share their vows with one another at another time and in private, but asked if their unity could come through sand they’ve collected in Nicaragua and the beaches of Bridgeport. At my request, I asked if we could also use sand I’ve used to remind myself of relocation, migration, refugees, and the importance of education. They agreed, and today they bring the sands from many hour glasses together in a vase as one.
William and Jessica, I’m giving each some of the sand that has been collected over the years, and at your request, I’m asking you to bring your humanity and individualism together before both of your families. In the sands are the stories, the ways of knowing, the memories shared, and the ones still to come. They are the values you hold dear to your hearts, and bring time, place, stories, and hope together in unity. As one. A team. A man and a woman becoming one with the world.
William & Jessica, before I go on, it is important for me to ask a question for you as individuals.
Do you, Jessica, promise to meander from time to time with William’s crazy, helium-balloon ideas that are sometimes destined to float away from the earth’s foundation with whimsical, philosophical, and sometimes-scratch-your-heard-what-is-he-talking about sort-of ways?
I do.
Okay, good then. And do you, William, promise to help Jessica move forward when the plans she sets forth aren’t brilliantly organized, labeled, color-coded, and categorized, reminding her to breathe, find self-care, and continue to powerfully change the world?
I do.
Glad to hear that.
William and Jessica, a little more serious. now….please join your hands together. This is the moment we’ve all been waiting for
Do you, Jessica, take William to be your lawfully wedded husband?
I do.
Do you, William take Jessica to be your lawfully wedded wife?
I do.
At this time, I am asking you both to present the rings that will be your symbolic reminder that you’ve chosen one another as life partners.
The ring represents the circle of life, all of its cycles, and the wholeness of your communities…very much like Ubuntu…. They are the gathering of both families today and the others who will join us later. By exchanging the rings, the couple brings forward a promise to join their communities, uniting not only themselves, but their friends and their families, too, in a symbol of faith and unending commitment to the beliefs they hold dear to their time.
It is now time to exchange the rings.
Exchange rings
Upon your fingers are the promises of love and the dedication, hope, and strength of all the days yet to come. These rings are the interlocking of a greater story and all the narratives still to be written. Such is the power of love. Such is the strength of stories as they are written underneath The Great Whatever above.
By the power invested in me at the request of the couple to officiate today’s ceremony and through the eyes of the State of Connecticut (and Fairfield University’s Stag Country), I pronounce you, William and Jessica, man and wife. Woman and husband. You are now an official, married couple.
So the time has come, you two….You may kiss one another in celebration of the day. We are all fortunate you have chosen one another to unite as one, two families forever intertwine...
I present the Kings!
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