I Need Rest. I Am Exhausted. I Am Looking for Only a Couple of Braincells to Fire Up So I Can Finish This Final Weekend

It's been a year. Scratch that. It's been several years and in the Book of Job meets Groundhogs Day, I keep thinking what else will be thrown my way to keep the work going...how much can a human being endure? I took on the extra work as part of our collaborative teamwork efforts, but then the team slowly disappeared one by one and all that was left there was the work. As always, I do it/did it for the students. 

Capstone is complete and now the 20-45 page papers are coming in and they need to be assessed so that I can turn my attention for the CWP summers I'm hired to lead. I'm still trying to assist the graduate programs, so the students don't lead a coup of what they've been through. I chose optimism, happiness, and cheerleading and it worked. But as I was grading yesterday and running materials to campus and organizing summer employees and setting up all the details needing attention I realized, I AM FRIED. I need to sleep, to be mindless, and to have down time.

I don't see any of this until mid-August, but I need to find salvation to make it through all that is ahead. I was on campus and like the school year, the hallways were empty. I know that many enjoy the summer breaks to rejuvenate. I haven't had that since I left the K-12 classroom.

It's now time. Not this year, but soon. Too much is too much and I'm definitely feeling the too much, even though I have these final assessments to get through. They students are exhausted, too. It's the nature of the work, but it doesn't make any of it right. 

I saw a commercial where a man set out to fix a community bench that needed repair and I was like, "How the hell does he have the energy to do that -- to do good...to think positively of making this world a better place?" 

And I realized...enough is enough. It can't go on this way and I know it -- feel it -- with all my might. But I will grade today because I have to and it is the right thing to do.

Sleep, however, is the cure. I need sleep and rest. Period. 

My line is drawn. I cannot let the exploitation continue.