Well, Nothing Could Prepare Me for the Monkey Wrenches Thrown My Way for the Spring Semester (But Onward This Clucking Frog Shall Go)

It's always an honor and pleasure to work with students, and I find satisfaction and glory with supporting the next generation of teachers, vision, possibilities and hope. I knew this Spring would be interesting as the University offered sabbaticals to colleagues that were well-deserved and I was prepared to fill-in where I was needed. Stepping up is sort of what optimistic Crandall does and reviews of my teaching and data from my service and research, I believe, are a demonstration of the individual I am. Yet, the sabbaticals have turned into monkey wrenches as one faculty member has chosen work at another University and the other stepped out of our department. I'm filling in for them, but what happens afterwards, as we planned for the Spring, but not the summer and Fall to follow.

A colleague sent me a spreadsheet of the people my department has lost since 2010 and as people retired or moved on, they were never replaced. Meanwhile, the numbers of students pursuing professional teaching certificates also began to dwindle alongside the lack of faculty to support them. To economists of higher education, this equates to not replacing those that left, turning the lack of support to students to a higher level. The students we do have are reaching out with questions of what they are to do next and I am not sure, because I no longer have the colleagues I once had to go to in order to find the answers. I knew they'd be gone for a semester - this was deserved. But departure from the work altogether is a whole other level of challenge.

I'm used to the PTSD of everyday teaching, especially with work in K-12 public schools, but I'm not sure what to do with it when it filters into those of us preparing the next generation. A single individual cannot accomplish this, especially with subject areas and grade levels I'm not qualified to work with. Meanwhile, there's mourning of the loss of good friends and colleagues who have departed (8 in the past seven months). It's not death, because they are alive and well, but it's also not human togetherness anymore  to keep the programs running. 

So, this Thursday, I'm simply scratching my head. Classes begin next Tuesday and I still have one more class this winter session - a responsibility I took on to ease the work of the others. Now, I have to pick up another class in the Spring because there's no support of the students we have who are currently enrolled. 

I know that things are somewhat bonkers everywhere, and I like to problem solve and figure things out, but I don't think I have a solution for this current quagmire. CWP work and National Writing Project remains strong and I love doing what I do in schools across the nation. My classes remain full and the ratings continue to be stellar (which always surprises me). 

And so here I am on this Thursday, simply wondering, hmmmmm. It's bigger than me and needs to involve leadership that gets it...I'm smart enough to realize this.

Oh, Serenity Prayer, I am reciting you by the hour. I simply hope I have the power to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to accept the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.