Confession to a Confessional. Throwback with Keef at a Syracuse Game in Louisville Sitting with the Devendorf Family & Putting Fate in a Score

It was January or February in 2007. I had an amazing crew of seniors, wonderful colleagues, and absolutely horrible administration. We also had Common Core breathing down our backs and we were slowly seeing decades of portfolio work fading away because of politics in the state. All that was great in the world was still great, but I saw the infrastructure crashing. Poor vision at the top (that never understood the Brown School) and state funding initiatives destroying all the good for teaching kids were at the forefront of my mind. I knew I couldn't live with myself working in such an environment with the changes to come...the anti-kid/anti-teacher sentiments of American politics. 

So, I gambled. I applied to do a doctorate at Syracuse University, return to CNY - my original home - and didn't tell a single person. It was all kept within me and by the time I had an acceptance and an offer for a doctoral fellowship paying my entire way, I decided that I'd make my decision at a basketball game. I always loved watching Boeheim and Pitino playing one another, and I knew my boy, Keef, captain of the Brown School basketball team that year, would be perfect to bring. We had nosebleed seats (Ron, the Principal we all loved before he left) was closer to the floor behind one of the goals. Ironically, we sat with the Devendorf family from Syracuse, mingled a bit, but watched the game. 

Syracuse came out strong and dominated the first half. I was resolved that it would be my decision to return to Syracuse and leave Derby City if they won. Then the second half came and Louisville was stronger. They pulled back ahead and it was the usual back and forth ending. Keith was screaming for the Cards and the Devendorfs for Syracuse (by the way...I got the tickets because I wrote to Syracuse and they held two will-call tickets for me....hence being with the Devendorf family). I didn't know anyone at Syracuse University, but I am good with words (and emails). 

I realized that Syracuse was going to lose the game, and according to my plan that would mean I would stay in Louisville and continue my teaching career in the Bluegrass. But something deep inside didn't feel right. I didn't want to stay trapped and I knew I had to leap from over a decade of teaching experiences or I might never have another opportunity to grow and live further on the adventure. 

Funny how the world works, as I know many put their necks on the line to get me to Syracuse on that fellowship and, to be honest, I always doubted my brains and ability to finish that degree. I had many  nervous breakdowns in my parents' pool thinking, "Phew. Leaving the Brown was a mistake."

Fast forward 17 years, a National Writing Project Director's job, publications, conferences, and much success all because I bring the Brown School and my students of yesteryear with me in all that I do. It's hard for me to think what I'd be if I chose to remain in Kentucky, except retired with all the others who were in my cohort at the time. I'm heading to my 30th year as an educator and I still watch Louisville and Syracuse when I can. Just because. And I'm not sure either team is giving me hope this year (ah, the faith has been in the women's teams). 

It's the storying. Sport is life and there's nothing better than a great game....but games are played everywhere and narratives come from the chances we take. 

Even so, this morning I'm thinking about that match-up in the ol' arena of the Fairgrounds. I'm thinking of the metaphors we can put in life...this or the team will make the difference...but in the end it is the gut that always leads you forward. This is the way. It's hard for me to imagine what life would be if I had not left with a leap of faith.